I stand in the in-between’s. In between Chinese and American cultures. In between conservative and liberal theological beliefs. In between new and old images of what a missionary is. In between but never fully immersed. “Who am I?” has been a question I’ve asked myself for decades. “You are a child of God, loved and forgiven,” is the answer I received. But where do I go from here? Where do I stand? As I am. In between two worlds. In God’s mission for the world.
Then, I ask myself: Do I even need an answer? Do I need to fully understand? To fully place myself in one place? Do I want to be labeled and put in a box?
Next Wednesday, my co-fellows and I will be commissioned as a missionary. Missionary. An old white man named Joe going door to door preaching the Gospel? Not at all. How about a young Chinese woman named Sushi going halfway around the world to serve and live in community with others? These are 2 very different views of a missionary, one more dominant than the other. So what does that mean for us? What will it look like when we, from different parts of the world, go to different parts of the world? We will stand in tension, navigating 2 different stories of a missionary.
Standing in the in-between has challenged and questioned my identity, my faith, my world views. I have grown and will continue to grow in both personal and social holiness as I accept this space and learn to navigate it.