Today, I met with Lira to get my Etsy purchase (because why waste shipping money when we can meet up?), and we started walking. Randomly (but totally not randomly), she started to intercede. This hasn’t happened since 2011 during NYCUP, and I haven’t truly prayed and spoken to God since March of this year. Recently, I’ve been burdened to start having a more consistent relationship with God and my brothers and sisters. But “time” and other excuses always came up. I think the time is up for excuses, and God’s calling me out on my bullshit. Ada and Jeremy told me to write it down and journal, so this is what went down during my walk with Lira (as best as I can remember):
Trust God about your future and His plans for you. Trust that He knows what is best for you and surrender your plans to Him. You’re going to work in a high position – a director, but you need to trust in God. You need to tell God that you trust Him. You will work with young women (15+) by providing job opportunities to those who have been sex trafficked, and only you will be able to do this job because your warrior heart has been created for this purpose. No one else can do this job. But you’re not trusting God. Everything you’ve applied to before was not for you; they weren’t good enough. He wants you to pray and tell Him that you will trust Him, and He will lead you. The door won’t open until you do that.
You’re distracted. By a boy. Let go of the boy. God already has a husband for you, and you will be happy. He will serve you and love you. You two are laughing. A lot. But first you need to open your heart to God and trust Him, then He can do His work. Have you heard of the little girl with the teddy bear? (No.) There’s a little girl who is holding onto a small teddy bear, and God is standing behind her with a better, bigger bear. But He won’t take the bear away unless she lets it go. Love the boy in a godly way, like Jesus would love him, by letting him go. Also, you will be the one to approach your future husband, and you will be intimidating; you’re intimidating to men. You’re going to emasculate him; don’t do that.
There are 2 women in your life who will pour into you. You need to talk to them. They might be your sisters. Pray about it.
You’re procrastinating. Go do your school work.
Pray, and marry your purpose.
So basically, pray. What a pleasant Saturday surprise.