I can’t find the words to say, but I am thankful that there are people in my life who, despite different walks in life, jobs, callings, and faith, I feel safe talking and expressing my views on social justice. I am glad that I’ve finally found a safe space to work through my identity and my place in this world as a Christian, Asian-American, female, straight, middle class, young, 25-year-old, college educated social worker. Whether I talk about it in all those aspects or the intersection of a couple/few, God has finally heard my heart’s deepest cry – to be accepted for who I am in a community where I feel valued.
I never expected to talk about race and social justice issues here in Boston, visiting my little sisters. For THREE HOURS! And it’s amazing! It’s amazing not only to see how much they’ve grown as young women since graduation last May, but it’s amazing to see how much they care about the children they serve; to see them question society, status quo, culture, and issues. And I am so grateful for them!
Ever since starting Skidmore and realizing that my calling is social justice, I’ve felt so alone because my friends weren’t interested in issues that broke my heart, and what hurt the most was that my church wasn’t interested either. I felt like I couldn’t go to anywhere to talk to, and as I continued to explore the issues of injustice and travel, I learned more and was exposed to the world, but who did I have to talk to about it? Who would listen to me? Who would understand? So I kept it in, and I struggled alone. I had glimpses of what justice would look like through NYCUP and Social Justice Week, but I still needed people – a community – to explore issues with, to discuss questions with, to wonder with, to pray with, to connect with, to challenge me.
After so many years, I’m beginning to see that God has been working. It’s so hard to wait for answers sometimes, but this is just a reminder that God is faithful, and even though I didn’t know what I wanted 8 years ago, He knew. He knew that I needed to struggle alone first (really, God? 8 years?) to realize that I can’t do this on my own, despite what I think. And I will continue to struggle and figure it out, but now I know that I have friends who are struggling with me. I’ve always known there were people out there, but I didn’t know they were so close! This may just be the beginning, but that’s how every movement starts – questions and community. So get ready, United States; change is going to happen.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.