at the edge of creation.

HELLO! IT’S BEEN AWHILE!

This weekend, my friends and I traveled to California to visit Yosemite National Park. I needed to get away, and this trip could not have come at a better time. I have been feeling that I’m not living up to my potential for a long time, and I knew exactly why – the guilt of my past. God found me before, but I felt like He wouldn’t want me after I strayed. Again. For the infiniteenth time. How could He?

So I began this trip as a journey to find myself in Him, to become the child He keeps calling back into His arms. And I prayed to hear His voice in the mountains. I prayed for His comfort again. I knew that if I called, He would answer. And He did.

The first trail we decided to hike after driving 4 hours, setting up camp, and eating lunch was the Mist Trail. It was an uphill trail that allowed you to see 2 waterfalls. The climb was steep and (literally) breath-taking. The first waterfall, Vernal Fall, is gorgeous, but I wasn’t satisfied; there’s something better ahead. As we arrived to Nevada Fall and I scrabbled on the wet rocks to get closer to the edge, I was reminded that God embraces me, here and now and forever, despite my past. Everything else will be mediocre compared to what God has planned for us. And He promises to go before me.

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.
– C.S. Lewis

Nevada Fall

“I will go before you. That is a promise.”

But that’s not the end of the trail (gah!); we have a chance to hike to the top of the falls. Alright, leggo! That last stretch was killer! All those rock stairs! D:

I couldn’t finish in 1 go, so I decided to sit on a rock. As I sit there, I look down. “Damn, I came far. But damn, I have so much more to go, and dude, that cliff edge looks so scary!” What now? Do I continue, or do I turn back to what I’ve known? And it occurred to me – this hike is my life. I am at a standstill, and I have the choice to either return to the life I’ve led since graduation or I can continue to God’s calling for me – His child. The former is what I already know, and the latter is unknown and requires so much faith.

I climbed, knowing I wouldn’t be disappointed. And I wasn’t. At the top of the falls was a resting place. Sun. River. Breeze. Children playing. It was beautiful. I found a rock in the middle of the stream and just rested in His creation. At the edge of His creation.

edge of creation

This is what I wanted when I returned home – for God to speak to me through the mundane, through the daily struggles to follow Him. And I want to obey that voice, but that is also my fear. I am afraid of what God will call me to do… or not do. So I prayed. I prayed for daily courage to obey. And He reminded me this:

You are My child, forgiven, healed, and embraced by My love, and that is enough. I am enough for you. Do not fear. Do not worry. I am with you.

Advertisements

have anything to say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s